The Rest of the Night
1. We watch Fred's production of Lend Me a Tenor. Curtis, who I referred to as "Little Pepper" when he was a freshman was the lead and was quite funny. I didn't know the other student, but she reminded me of Margaret a little bit. Her costumes were gorgeous. As were all of the costumes, actually. University Theatre will always be number one in costumes due to the McIlwee influence. It was a good performance, but the theatre was damn hot and all of the wine and fatty food didn't sit well with all of us. Katie ran into the theatre after intermission and announced to everyone that she was totally hammered. She had total sex hair, too. I thought she'd attacked someone on the way to the bathroom.
2. We all sit around the theatre and wait to all adjourn to Tir Na Nog. I don't know why it took us so long to leave. Probably because we kept taking pictures.
3. We leave the theatre, Tracey realizes that she has no gas in her car, and passes all of the stations on Hillsborough Street while screaming about how she can't find anywhere to get gas. We finally find some place on Peace Street to fill the car up so we don't end up stranded on the side of the road. All during this time, Katie is banging on the back window trying to get Curtis (who was following behind us) to rescue the group and let us ride in his car.
4. Marc and Kristy get engaged.
5. I get cash and leave my card in the ATM. Thankfully, the car full of strangers behind us returned it.
6. We arrive in downtown Raleigh an hour after we left the theatre. We can't find a place to park, due to a MASSIVE outdoor concert in city market. Katie and I get out of the car and leave Tracey to park on her own. Amber and Frank are better people than we, and they stayed with her until she found a space.
7. They aren't letting any more people into Tir Na Nog, but because I rented the back room they allowed NC State kids in. We are awesome.
8. It is ROUGHLY 8 thousand degrees in that room. People are about to pass out. See, look. Poor Linh caught on fire!
9. Reid Beaver shows up, looking like a fox. Seriously, all of the girls had a big crush on him.
10. Random people in the bar come into our room. We know that they are not UT people because the girls were wearing sparkly halter tops. Those were not our people, no matter what year you graduated.
11. Ben Kraudel shows up, charming as ever. He looks like the heat has kicked him in the balls, though. So, basically he looked like all of us.
12. People start to leave because of the late hour and the heat. I start to get emotional. Our awesome weekend is ending.
13. Alex Miller asks for Katie's number information. He says it's for theatre stuff. We all are hoping it's for an affair and we get to hear all the details.
14. We leave the burning hot Tir Na Nog for The Raleigh Times. Who are those sexy girls leaving the bar?
15. We arrive and no one can get served, because it's packed too. But it's about 75 degrees cooler, so we're totally okay with that.
16. Leah, Katie, Jenny, Pepper and I eat two plates of cheese fries in about 5 minutes. People stare at us like we're the most disgusting people in the world.
17. The bar closes. We don't leave. Scary old men are hitting on the women there. We ask for help in escaping them, and the men think it's too funny to stop anything. We're left to fend for ourselves.
18. The bar is still closed. We are thrown out of the building. We stand on the sidewalk talking about things to do. We come up with a trip to IHOP or hanging out in someone's hotel room. We decide to go to the hotel.
19. The boys get smoochy and amorous. We tell them that we don't like to be treated that way and they are getting creepy.
20. Jenny and I come on to Joe Boles, tell him that he's way hotter than he was in college, and we'd have him baying at the moon by the end of the night if he came back to the hotel room. Ironically, we don't think that we are acting creepy at all.
21. VERY IMPORTANT PLOT POINT ALERT: Joe Boles drives us from the bar to the theatre, as he stopped drinking hours ago, as he had to go to church the next morning to sing with his family. He charges his dead car battery as Jenny and I are shouting disgusting things at him. Gerald is charging the battery wearing only a wife beater and a tie. It's all so very weird.
22. Joe heads back to Byron's house to sleep for a few hours before he SINGS AT CHURCH WITH HIS FAMILY. He takes Gerald with him. Jenny, Eric, and I head to the hotel.
23. Jenny and Eric go to sleep, I go meet up with everyone in Katie's hotel room. It looks like the most bizarre prom after party ever. Tracey and her boyfriend are eating Snoopys, Katie's porn eye is in full effect, Will is in bed with her, Will's girlfriend is in a chair beside the bed, Amber and John are sitting on the floor, and Matt, Ronnie and Pepper are standing up, lording over the whole room. All of the girls want to be left alone, all the boys are looking for smooches, and everyone else just wants to go bed. Things are destined to go to hell.
24. The phone rings. It's Gerald. Everything has just gone to hell. And from there comes the title of this blog. And we will discuss this soon.
Did I miss anything before this happened? Do you think that my obsession with google image search warrants professional help? Is it hot enough for ya? Leave something in the comments section, and I'll add whatever is necessary.
posted by Free Joe Boles at 4:30 PM
1 Comments:
laura, you are f**king amazing. :)
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