I don't know if you know this, but today is a totally awesome day. It's my birthday. Perhaps you noticed that people seem to be in a better mood today. It's because they are so happy I was born. It's an amazing reaction that people have to my special day. I thought this picture that I pulled from a google image search would fit well, too.

I know that I still owe you a post from the Armadillo Grill Lunch, especially since the memories are already getting a little fuzzy (note to self: I'm 27 now. Drink less.), but I also wanted to include some oldies but goodies from our Thompson past.

Adrian Dunston (please see "sexy dads" post below) was always the funniest guy in town. He once carried on a conversation with the portrait of Alexander Hamilton that is on the $10 bill in Brueggers. It was laughed so hard that I didn't make any noise except for when I snorted. And, as you all know, that is the true test of how funny I think something is.

Alas, again, I am getting off subject. Adrian once wrote a few postings to the University Theatre listserv, and I have saved them for years. They were that funny. And they continue to crack me up. So, without further ado, here are the Anti-Rules:

While going through all my papers to see what to throw out, I found my hand-written copy of anti-rules. I thought I'd share, for Katie and Laura if no one else. For those of you who don't know, at the start of "Lifetime," Fred delineated a set of rules, which were by themselves completely hilarious and of course vaguely insulting. Anyway, I though instead of getting steamed it would be fun to go line for line with Fred and write a set of anti-rules. Here they are for your enjoyment.

P.S. The fun part is figuring out the original rules.

Fred's Anti-Rules-----------------
1. Be late, at least 15min late.
2. Never allow the stage manager to know your location.
3. Don't develop a reputation for honesty.
4. For goodness sakes, eat something! [in costume]
5. Theatres are for trashing.
6. Dress for Wrestlemania
7. You are invincible. Insult dangerous-looking people.
8. Carry your script to performance.
Most important rule: Suck. Suck early, suck often.
-Adrian P. Dunston

Adrian sat there and wrote out these anti-rules when Fred went over the real rules. I had the pleasure of sitting next to Adrian at this read-through. It was killer. Crazy funny.

Then, on yet another whim, Adrian also sent out Thompson's Little Instruction Book:

Hey everybody,
I was reading Ben Kraudel's column the other day, and it put me in the mood for random humor. So I started writing my latest project "Life's Big Fat Manual" or "Everything I Needed to Know I Learned As I Went Along Just Like Everybody Else." But that was taking too long, and I had to get back to looking for jobs or working on Dodgeball, so instead I just wrote this. I hope you enjoy it. If you think of anything funny, send it to me and I'll include it in part 2.

"That Ben Kraudel is one funny bastard. Maybe even two. He's just that funny."
-Adrian P. Dunston



_Everything I Needed to Know I Learned in University Theatre_
----------------Part I


You can sleep on anything if you're tired enough. Just bear in mind that Sean and Dana probably had sex on it at some point.
Watch your step. One man's floor is another man's foam ceiling tile.
You're never too loud for Stewart.
Feet without shoes attract rusty screws.
If you wear glasses and you're going to be in the dark backstage, wear your glasses in the dark backstage.
No joke is too lame for the theatre.
No moment is too serious for the Parks Scholars to laugh at.
If you're going to leave early or arrive late to a play, do so as loudly as possible.
The green room was named after the food left over from the show before yours.
Sometimes one good techie is worth two great actors.
Godot never shows.
Never wait until you can smell the smoke effects, cough as soon as you see them.
Hitler, Stalin, Judas, and Satan can be called by their names. Everybody else is "honey."
If you're going to pick a fight with the Madrigal singers, be sure to do it West Side Story style.
There's no such thing as too many August Wilson plays.
If you were great, they'll remember you two years after you graduate. If you were terrible, they'll never forget you.
The highest award is a gold-painted pig. Try not to take things too seriously.
Rehearsing until 3am will not make your actors better, it will just make them tired. Of course, if they're willing to stay until three, they're probably good actors to begin with.
The best lessons in life are not learned in class.
Hell is a lack of funding followed by a fire hazard evacuation.
Rome wasn't built in a day, but with enough intro students, it could be struck in an hour.
Always yield your screw-gun to the woman with a crowbar.
Never annoy your costume or makeup artist.

See guys? He's awesome. And he also made some unbelievable cartoons for Dracula and Romeo and Juliet:

http://www.x-omega.com/adrian/images/dracula/

http://www.x-omega.com/adrian/images/randj/

I hope you enjoyed this trip down memory lane and devotional to Adrian Dunston. I'll write more after my week-long birthday celebration.

Just remember, if the sun shines today, it was because I was born. If it's raining, no worries, it was all in my master plan.